Free Hugs!

Hopeless romanticism has taken over my brain lately. It tends to happen when I watch chick flicks. It's a horrible condition that I try to squelch quickly, but sometimes I allow myself a few days of wishing that my soul mate will show up and sweep me off of my feet. My daydreams always involve some kind of terrible break up after which we realize that we are madly in love with each other and we make up and everything is just dandy from there on out... And then I come back to reality and I see that this is real life... and the guy who keeps popping up in my fantasies is not going to realize that he only wants to be with me for the rest of his life and that even if he did... I really wouldn't want him to. And I realize that I am not in love with him, never have been, I'm just in love with the idea.
I know that this may seem like a negative post, but it really isn't. I'm finally starting to work on my severe commitment issues and being able to identify what I really want. I still have a LOT of therapy before I resemble a functional human being, but it's nice to be able to say that I am making progress. And it's nice to be able to visualize a future that includes trusting someone and actually letting my guard down enough to let myself love someone romantically.
Part of my commitment to change is to let people know how much I care about them. One way I will show them is to give more hugs. So if you see me... and you want a hug... um... ask me for one... I promise to try and not act super freaked out. And eventually, who knows, I may start to enjoy the hugs!